Two Spirits and Herstory

herstory is a trans/personal document detailing my own internal dialogue of identity evolution. It is a conversation.

Of sorts.

Of thoughts.

Ongoing.

The process of documentation serves to aid me in transforming the artifacts of unconsciousness into an art of consciousness. The inevitable rising debris of subconsciousness evolves a syntax that demands its own  listening to.

The tag-line “A Tale of Two Spirits Dancing” provides enough cohesive structure for multiple explorations without defining unnecessarily constrictive boundaries. “Two Spirits Dancing” was originally a private site shared with my life partner when we resided on separate continents. After I moved from America to Australia, we share this site jointly, with family and close friends.

Drawing by Anna

“Two Spirits” is a common English translation of a variety of Native American words (i.e. “winkte” in the Lakota tongue) used to express being trans gender. The active verb dancing is employed to denote a natural, joyful, creatively spontaneous interplay between two selves within one self as well as the interactions of that whole self with others.

I have always been transgender, though I have not always been transgender consciously. The first oblique documentation I had of my trans gender was a photograph from my christening, to which I wore a gown of satin and lace. I assume the color was traditional white. I would have preferred pink. The gown itself was not preserved and the photo has long since passed from my possession. Of my siblings, only my sister was similarly attired. I am the eldest, she the youngest, with four more males in between. This fact still has mystical significance to me, if no one else.

More extensive details of a biographical nature will eventually be contained in A Brief Herstory. I think it sufficient to state here: I was born biologically male but have never felt in satisfactory alignment with this biological gender. Whether this feeling of misalignment is caused by the social conventions imposed culturally and historically on gender roles I cannot answer definitively for myself. Nor do I expect such an answer. Stasis is the antithesis of change and change is essential to life. I therefor feel compelled to go on seeking further insights.

You are about to be amused occasionally, perhaps confused frequently and perhaps regrettably abused unintentionally.

Be Warned! The responsibility for these feelings is yours.